Draco Malfoy's Disturbing Personality
by Essenity
Summary: Malfoy, you look hot in makeup. Thank God you ditched the hair gel! I was getting worried about you damaging your hair. Later, ♥ Potter. DMHPSlash, humour, AU due to release of HP6. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note-** Sorry, I couldn't resist.

**Disclaimer-** Harry Potter characters belong to JKR. Story format stolen off Setine.

**Warnings-** HP6 never happened so in a way: AU. And OOC-ness. Draco x Harry fic. Yes, a **_slash_**. Deal with it. Humour. Me New Zealander. Note the spelling of 'Humour'.

And to Setine: If you happen to click on this and read it. Heh… sorry!

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Draco Malfoy's Disturbing Personality

Chapter One

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**_Thought One-_**

I never said I wanted to follow my father.

Who wants to work for Lord Voldemort?

He's a pansy ass.

**_Thought _****_Two-_**

I mean have you LOOKED at his ass?

Look at _my_ ass!

**_Thought Three-_**

Hey… there's a mirror in the Malfoy Mansion Library!

Look at my ass…

**_Thought Four-_**

Comparing to Lord Vol-thingy…

**_Thought Five-_**

Wait a minute…

I've never seen his ass!

_**Thought Six-**_

What about Harry?

Mmm… Harry… that Potter-boy's wonderful.

Kinky.

_**Thought Seven-**_

This is ridiculous.

No one has a better ass than Draco Malfoy.

That reminds me.

Not going to join the horde of ugly Death Eaters.

**_Thought Eight-_**

No, my father is not ugly.

I'm a beautiful person.

Look at that face!

_**Thought Nine-**_

Those _eyes_!

_**Thought Ten-**_

**"Draco, are you busy?"**

**"NO!"**

Oops… smashed the mirror….

_**Thought Eleven-**_

Damn… multiple Draco Malfoys… maybe I should leave that mirror shattered.

Look at my face… my eyes… my nose!

That chin!

That body!

**_Thought Twelve-_**

That _ass_!

_**Thought Thirteen-**_

**"Draco, where are you?"**

**"In the library father."**

**"Admiring yourself?"**

**"…"**

**_Thought Fourteen-_**

**"Draco, you are now 16."**

_**Thought Fifteen-**_

I am _not_ becoming a Death Eater!

How can I show off such a hot body?

Harry missed out on so much action…

_**Thought Sixteen-**_

**"You should come to a Death Eater's meeting once and meet the Dark Lord."**

**_Thought Seventeen- _**

Potter-baby missed out on so much in the last five years…

If only he just—

**_Thought Eighteen-_**

**"Draco!"**

**"Huh?"**

**_Thought Nineteen-_**

**"… Oh yes, oh please _daddy_, don't make--"**

**"You're going."**

**_Thought Twenty-_**

Damnit!

Wait…

**"Fine. I'll join."**

**_Thought Twenty One-_**

Who said anything about joining?

**_Thought Twenty Two-_**

"Ah… Draco Malfoy, how simply _delightful_ for you to join our little… gathering."

"Yes, yes."

"Welcome…"

"The pleasure is all mine."

**_Thought Twenty Three-_**

Pfft! The only person I'm going to give pleasure to will be Harry-darling.

I mean, look at my ass!

Who can deny that lovely ass…

**_Thought Twenty Four-_**

OMG School in a month!

Hrm… homework…

**_Thought Twenty Five-_**

Let's see… finished Potions. Advanced Potions. Extra Potions. Compulsory Potions… why did I take Care of Magical Creatures? Oh yes, Potter-baby is taking that as well.

_**Thought Twenty Six-**_

Oh wait no, that was compulsory.

**_Thought Twenty Seven-_**

OH MY HOLINESS!

Will you just _look_ at _that _ass!

_**Thought Twenty Eight-**_

I think I'm going to faint…

Look at my body!

Hrm… ditch the hair gel.

Put on hair gel.

Ditch hair gel.

Put on hair gel.

_**Thought Twenty Nine-**_

I am _way _sexier without the hair gel.

Chicks dig the long wavy hair…

My hair is so blond it's beautiful.

**_Thought Thirty-_**

Harry will never be able to resist me this year!

BWAHAHAHAhaha…

_**Thought Thirty One-**_

**"Draco, why are you laughing so… strangely? And were you talking about Harry Potter?"**

Oh… was I talking aloud again?

**"Yes my cute little boy."**

**"Oh mother…"**

I hate it when she calls me by pet names.

**"I like your pet names."**

…

_**Thought Thirty Two-**_

Homework time.

Astrology.

Who wants to look at stars?

**_Thought Thirty Three-_**

Am I not enough?

_**Thought Thirty Four-**_

**"Draco!"**

**"****Yes father?"**

**"Did you finish that Star Chart the Dark Lord asked for?"**

**"…"**

**"Draco?"**

Fuck.

_**Thought Thirty Five-**_

Stars… stars… Voldemort is a fool.

Stars… stars… hey, that constellation looks like Sweet-Green-Eyes.

_**Thought Thirty Six- **_

I can't find Mercury.

It isn't in the sky!

Hrm… what did Trelawney say again?

**_Thought Thirty Seven-_**

Oh yes, Potter's about to die a horrible and painful death.

_**Thought Thirty Eight- **_

NOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

**_Thought Thirty Nine-_**

Oh wait, no, that's when Mercury is in retrograde.

**_Thought Forty-_**

Does Mercury even go in retrograde?

_**Thought Forty One-**_

What the hell does retrograde mean?

_**Thought Forty Two-**_

**"Draco darling…"**

**"Yes mother?"**

**"The Dark Lord is coming over to dinner tomorrow."**

Shit, fuck, bugger. DAMNIT!

**_Thought Forty Three-_**

**"He wants a tour of the Mansion. Starting with your room."**

OH NO!

That means I have to take down **_all_** the Harry Potter posters! And pictures.

Damnit!

**_Thought Forty Four-_**

But there are so many!

I don't remember the colour of my original wall.

What with all those pictures…

**_Thought Forty Five-_**

Was my wall originally brick or stone?

**_Thought Forty Six-_**

I don't want to take them all down!

**_Thought Forty Seven-_**

**"Draco! He's coming tomorrow! Not next year! Clean up your room! De-Potter-rise it!"**

**"Yes mother."**

**_Thought Forty Eight-_**

But… but… nooooo!

**_Thought Forty Nine-_**

**"Father, could you—"**

**"No."**

Dang.

**_Thought Fifty-_**

Oh I know!

I could throw darts at the pictures!

Lord Voldemort will never know they were picture for me to gaze at.

**_Thought Fifty One-_**

Now where are those darts?

**"Father, could—"**

**"No."**

**"…"**

**_Thought Fifty Two-_**

Fine, I'll do it myself.

Oh here are the darts!

Wonderful.

**_Thought Fifty Three-_**

Yes! Got his ass.

Ooo… that one got his arm.

Oh my baby… he's getting all ruined…

**_Thought Fifty four-_**

Whew, five hours of hard work!

…

NOOOOoooooo!

My beautiful pictures!

My beautiful Harry!

**"Draco, are you crying over Muggle pictures?"**

**"NO!"**

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**End Chapter One **

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**Author's Note- **So, if you liked it and you aren't angry with me for any reason, please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes- **And so I decided to change 'Deceiving' into 'Disturbing' because it fitted better.

**Warnings-** HP6 never happened so in a way it's AU. Extreme OOC-ness, but hey, we never know what goes through Draco Malfoy's head! Draco x Harry fic, slash. Humour.

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**Draco**** Malfoy's Disturbing Personality**

**Chapter Two**

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**_Thought Fifty Five-_**

Once upon a time, long, long ago there lived a boy… who got pissed off because the so-called _Dark Lord _decided to change his dinner plans at the last minute because he _broke a nail_.

**_Thought Fifty Six-_**

That little _bugger_! I destroyed my beautiful Harry potter pictures because of him!

Grrrr!

**_Thought Fifty Seven-_**

When I was seven I wanted to be a pilot.

Then my father cancelled _Sky Television_ and said only Muggles wasted their time on cable TV.

Personally I believe he was just jealous that the Muggle device got more attention from me than he did.

**_Thought Fifty Eight-_**

_Johnny Bravo _was one weird kid's show. _Powerpuff__ Girls_ was just dodgy.

_Scooby-doo _was an all time favourite!

**_Thought Fifty Nine-_**

Dude! Why am I rambling on about _Muggle__ cartoons_?

I always wanted a computer.

And then I got one for my tenth birthday.

**_Thought Sixty-_**

Although daddy only bought it because he got interested and wanted to try it out…

I have MSN.

What's yours?

**_Thought Sixty One-_**

Potter is Muggle.

Muggles came up with computers.

And the Internet.

And MSN.

**_Thought Sixty Two-_**

…….

Wait a minute…

_Click_

**_Thought Sixty Three-_**

OH MY HOLINESS!

_Must_ get Harry-darling's MSN email thingy!

**_Thought Sixty Four-_**

Why didn't I think of this _sooner_?

**_Thought Sixty Five-_**

**"Draco, why are you banging you head against the piano?"**

**"I am _not_!"**

**_Thought Sixty Six-_**

**"Draco Malfoy!"**

**"What is it father?"**

**"Stop trying to smash the wall with your head!"**

**"Sorry father."**

**_Thought Sixty Seven-_**

**"I thought I _told_ you once before Draco! Stop trying to give yourself a concussion! School can't be _that _bad!"**

Silence.

**"Forget I mentioned anything. What with you going to Hogwarts… and Harry Potter attending that God forsaken place."**

**"…"**

**_Thought Sixty Eight-_**

I wanna be in Gryffindor!

GRYFFINDOR ALL DA WAY DUDE!

**_Thought Sixty Nine-_**

Oh.

My.

God.

**_Thought Seventy-_**

I have officially lost it.

I did _not_ just say 'GRYFFINDOR ALL DA WAY DUDE!'

**_Thought Seventy One-_**

Holy Merlin on a plane!

I did just say 'GRYFFINDOR ALL DA WAY DUDE!'

**_Thought Seventy Two-_**_  
_

That's it.

No more Muggle movies for me.

**_Thought Seventy Three-_**

**"Draco, your friend is here."**

**"Okay mother—Blaise!**** The fxxx? What are you doing here?"**

**"Visiting."**

**_Thought Seventy Four-_**

**"The _hell_ you are! Go home!"**

**"No. Wanna watch a movie?"**

**"No!"**

**_Thought Seventy Five-_**

**"What movie is it?"**

**"Moon Child."**

**"…"**

**_Thought Seventy Six-_**

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

DAMNIT!

HOLD IT!

**_Thought Seventy Seven-_**

I will not scream.

I will not scream.

I will _not_ scream.

I will not squeal.

I will not squeal.

I will not _squeal._

**_Thought Seventy Eight-_**

OH MY HOLINESS! MOON CHILD! EEEEeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk!

**"Are you alright?"**

MOON CHILD! MOONCHILD! MOON CHILD! MOON CHILD!

_Explodes._

**_Thought Seventy Nine-_**

**"Blaise, what did you give my son?"**

**"Nothing Mrs. Malfoy."**

**"Are you _sure_?"**

**"Of course I am, your son just suddenly lost it and…"**

MOON CHILD! MOON CHILD! GACKT! HYDE! WANG LEE HOM! ASIANS IN LEATHER! OH MY GACKTINESS! MOON CHILD! MOON CHILD!

**"And he's just bouncing off the walls like a total maniac?"**

**"Yeah pretty much Mr. Malfoy."**

**"Alright then.**** You two go play nicely upstairs."**

**"Yes sir! Ma'am!"**

**_Thought Seventy Nine-_**

**"DRACO MALFOY!"**

Eeep!

**"Why aren't you talking?"**

**"OWWWW!**** Let me go! What are you doing?"**

**"Dragging you upstairs, what does it look like?"**

**"…"**

**_Thought Eighty-_**

**"…"**

Drag, drag…

**"OH MY GOD!**** MUMMY! DADDY! BLAISE IS GONNA RAPE ME!"**

**"OH for the love of—"**

WHACK!

**_Thought Eighty One-_**

Moon Child! Moon Child! Moon Child!

**"Draco?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"Stop daydreamingand put this into the DVD player."**

**"Okay."**

**_Thought Eighty Two-_**

**"WIDESCREEN MOON CHILD!"**

**"GAH!**** DRACO! SHUT UP!"**

**"…"**

**_Thought Eighty Three-_**

**"HYDE! OH MY GOD, BLAISE, DID YOU SEE HIM?"**

**"Yes Draco, I did indeed."**

Sigh.

**_Thought Eighty Four-_**

**"LITTLE SHO! Awwwwwwww KAWAII!"**

**"…"**

**"LOOKIE BLAISE! GACKT'S ON! GUNS!"**

**"…"**

**"KAWAII! GA-KU-TO-SAN, AISHITERU!"**

**"…Draco?"**

**"Hai?"**

**"Are you speaking Japanese?"**

**"…Wow… I'm speaking Japanese! Wah! HYDE!"**

**_Thought Eighty Five-_**

_Intense concentration at the television. Or in Blaise's case, moving pictures with androgynous guys._

**"I did _not_ know Draco could speak Japanese..."**

**_Thought Eighty Six-_**

WAH! Did you _see_ that? HYDE just reloaded Gackt's gun!

**"Wah! Spinning Gackt! Go Gackt!"**

**"What. The. Hell? Who the hell are you talking about?"**

**"Gackt!**** The human! You know, the guy who plays Sho?"**

**"…And who's HYDE playing?"**

**_Thought Eighty Seven-_**

**"…The vampire! Aren't you paying attention?"**

**"Yeah I am! I just know their screen names for this movie. And it's like… Moon Child… what a _Matrix _rip-off!"**

**"…Well at least _this_ is realistic!"**

**"_Realistic!_ What have you been smoking! Look at the vampire! You call _that_ realistic?"**

**"…Well at least they have limited guns and bullets!"**

**"Oh for the—"**

**"Sssssssh!"**

**_Thought Eighty Eight-_**

Sigh… Gackt… the moon…

Oh this movie is so cool!

I want to watch this with Harry. XD.

_GASP! _AH!

**_Thought Eighty Nine-_**

**"Draco?"**

**"WHAT!"**

**"…Why are you crying?"**

_Sniff._

_Sniff._

**_Thought Ninety-_**

_Sob._

_Gasp._

_Sniff._

**"Stop shaking your head! Why are you crying?"**

**"WHAT? MY BABY IS CRYING?"**

**"No! No Mrs Malfoy! It's alright, Draco's just a bit emotional right now; I think it's the movie."**

**"WAH! BLAISE!"**

It's _so_ sad!

**"…"**

**_Thought Ninety One-_**

**"Shit damn, how long is this movie anyway Draco? Do you know?"**

**"Yeah, it's an hour, fifty nine minutes and fifty three seconds."**

**"…"**

**_Thought Ninety Two-_**

**"Draco? Draco? What the hell… why are you _bawling_?"**

**"I am _not_!"**

_Torrents of tears._

**_Thought Ninety Three-_**

**"It's so sad! He died, then he died, then _he_ died! Then… then… he died, and he died, and the guy died, and then…"**

**"What are you talking about?"**

_Torrents of tears._

**_Thought ninety Four-_**

I want Harry.

**"Excuse me? Did you say something?"**

**"MOON CHILD IS SO SAD!"**

**"…"**

**"Wah, Gackt is so cool…"**

**"This has gotta be a dream. This is a dream. I did not come to the Malfoy Manor, I did not borrow Moon Child off a Gackt fan and I did not sit down and watch Moon Child with Draco. Draco did not act like a total fan-boy, which he is but that's beside my sanity. I am not sitting beside a Draco Malfoy who is Lucius Malfoy's son and who has been crying for what… the past thirteen minutes and twenty-six seconds… no, he has been bawling. And… and… oh gods…"**

**_Thought Ninety Five-_**

Gackt… Gackt… HYDE…

Oh my goodness… wow… he's so stupid! Why are you so stubborn!

_Sniff._

_Sob._

_Torrents of tears._

WHY?

WHY?

Don't do that!

Don't!

HE'S LYING!

DON'T!

**_Television: 'Three… Two… One, BANG!'_**

NOO!

_Torrents of tears._

**_Thought Ninety Six-_**

**"Draco, have you been on drugs?"**

**"WAH!**** SO SAD!"**

**"…I seriously need to be paid to be your friend."**

**"GACKT!**** HYDE! I'm gonna have a breakdown."**

**"Draco, why the _hell_ would you know about Japanese Muggle stars?"**

**"They are J-ROCKERS! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT! …WAH! So sad…"**

**_Thought Ninety Seven-_**

**"I can't believe you are someone who is expected to be a cold hearted, uncaring, level headed Slytherin."**

_Sniff._

**_Thought Ninety Eight-_**

**"Has my son been crying over Muggle movies again?"**

**"No Mr. Malfoy, he's been bawling over J-ROCKERS in Moon Child."**

**"J-_what_?"**

**"J-Rocker sir.**** A Japanese rock star." **

**_Thought Ninety Nine-_**

**"…Narcissa!"**

**"Yes dear?"**

**"Would you care to—"**

**"OH MY HOLY MERLIN!**** IS THAT GACKT?"**

**"Oh dear lord…"**

**"THAT IS GACKT! Oh… and HYDE TOO!"**

**"Oh my gods…"**

**"Oh is that Moon Child? IT'S MOON CHILD!"**

**"What am I going to tell Lord Voldemort?"**

**"Nothing Mr. Malfoy.**** This will never be released into the public."**

**"You're a good lad Blaise. A good lad indeed. Now why don't you run along home and save your sanity?"**

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Gackt- A Japanese musician. He has the most heavenly music.**

**HYDE-** Another Japanese musician. He's adorably cute as in the childish way.

**Wang Lee Hom-** He's a Taiwanese artist.

**Gackt** and **HYDE** both starred in the movie: **Moon Child** with **Wang Lee Hom**. It is originally in Japanese language but has the occasional Mandarin conversations and some Cantonese and English and Taiwanese. It has English subtitles.

**Author's Notes-** See? I wasn't joking when I said 'Extreme OOC-ness'. Review and you get the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note-** Another pointless chapter.

**Disclaimer-** No own.

**Warnings- **HP6 never happened. AU, OOC-ness, Harry x Draco and in this chapter, Lucius x Narcissa.

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**Draco ****Malfoy's Disturbing Personality**

**Chapter Three**

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_**Thought One Hundred-**_

Okay, whatever I've been smoking before Blaise came over is now _out_ of my system! There is NO way that I had bounced off the freaking walls and wailed – _wailed _with _torrents of tears – _over a stupid Muggle movie.

_**Thought One Hundred and One-**_

Even though that 'stupid Muggle movie' had Gackt and – I'm not going to squeal – hot Asian stars in it, it _was_ quite good.

_**Thought One Hundred and Two-**_

Gah! I didn't mean to think that! This is absolutely ridiculous!

_**Thought One Hundred and Three-**_

You know what? Moon Child is a Muggle movie.

Harry grew up amongst Muggles.

Therefore, Harry _must_ know Gackt!

_**Thought One Hundred and Four-**_

"**Draco darling, why are you cackling?"**

"**I am _not_ cackling!"**

"**Blaise, are you still here?"**

"**Yes I am indeed, Mr. Malfoy!"**

"**Good, maybe you can find out and tell me what crack my son has been smoking."**

"**With all due respect sir, I believe that the specimen you call your son - OUCH!"**

_**Thought One Hundred and Five-**_

I am _not_ a specimen! I am a human who deserves as much respect as any _other_ human. I will not have Blaise – or _any_one for that matter – belittle me.

And that's why I whacked Blaise over the head with mum's favourite vase.

_**Thought One Hundred and Six-**_

"**OH MY GOD!** **BLAISE! ARE YOU OKAY?"**

_**Thought One Hundred and Seven-**_

"**Yeah, yeah, Draco.** **I'm just _dandy_!"**

"**Oh Blaise, I'm so terribly sorry! How's the vase?"**

"**It's fine, Draco."**

"**Good, because if it's shattered I'm going to be in some deep shit."**

_**Thought One Hundred and Eight-**_

"**Draco?"**

"**Yeah what?"**

"**You're back…"**

"**What are you talking about?"**

"**You're… talking… normally now! Like… like how you usually talk!"**

**"…"**

_**Thought One - Goodness me, this is annoying! – Hundred and Nine-**_

Sometimes I really worry about Blaise. I mean, how ridiculous can he get? I'm like this all the time!

"**Draco?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Have you finished your Potions homework?"**

"**Of course!** **What do you take me as?" **– Snicker, snort. –

_**Thought One – I'm worried, because I don't think I can spell the numbers anymore… - Hundred and Ten-**_

"**Good, I'll need to copy your answers."**

"**Blaise, I'm not a doormat. You can't just think you can make me do everything you want and I'll do it."**

"**Oh, you mean you'd just ignore my request and not let me copy?"**

**"…"**

_**Thought – I'm going to use numbers now – 111**_

"**Thanks Draco, you're a _doll_!"**

Damn it! Why am I such a doormat! I let Blaise walk _all_ over me! That's it! Next time he asks for something, I'm going to put my foot down and say no!

"**Draco, come here for a sec."**

"**Okay."**

_**Thought 112-**_

I'm an idiot! I just let - GRRR – Blaise walk over me again!

I'm going to pack my bags.

"**Blaise, go home!"**

_**Thought 113-**_

I never thought myself to be a person who would love Muggle photos.

_Think about it. This is a moment you'll never experience again._

Man, that's some _deep_ shit.

_**Thought 114-**_

All these photos, captured time…

"**Draco! Dinner!"**

**"…"**

And so ends my admiration time for Muggle photos.

_**Thought 115-**_

I can never understand why people love to eat meat. It's _just_ meat for God's sake! It's still food!

Honestly!

_**Thought 116-**_

Mmm, this duck has such a tender – fxxx – I'm not going to describe food!

"**Honey, are you feeling alright?"**

"**Just _dandy_!"** Sorry Blaise, stealing your word for now.

"**You seem a bit distant. Are you still upset over the Muggle movie?"**

They will never let me live it down.

_**Thought 117-**_

Good thing it didn't make the newspapers! I can just imagine the headlines:

_Draco_ _Malfoy Delivers Torrents of Tears over Muggle Movie! – P.3 for more information._

You know what, that might be a way to get Potter's attention.

_**Thought 118-**_

Oh who am I kidding? The moron doesn't even read the newspaper!

"**DRACO!"**

"**FXXX!** **FOR THE LOVE OF – WHAT?"**

"**You mother is talking to you!"**

"**Oh sorry, what is it mother?"**

"**Are you _sure_ you're alright? You look a bit pale…"**

Aren't I always pale?

_**Thought 118-**_

"**Draco? Darling? Are you feeling alright?"**

"**Hrm?** **Oh yes, sorry… what?" **I really must pay more attention.

_**Thought 119-**_

"**DRACO!"**

"**GAH!"** Oh it's just you! Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me!

I can hear you just fine! Don't have to shout so loudly!

"**Okay, I'm finished with dinner."**

_**Thought 120-**_

My mother just asked me if I was planning to come home for Christmas.

I said I'll think about it.

-Sigh- I think I'll just go to my room now.

_**Thought 121-**_

You know what? My father just came into my room and asked, "**Are you going to consider bringing Harry Potter over for Christmas?"**

You'd be glad to know that I did not squeal.

I mean for Merlin's sake! I am not THAT desperate! Sure, I might pine after Harry Potter in a fangirlish sort of way, but come on! You'd actually believe that I'd squeal over such a little thing?

_**Thought 122-**_

Oh damn. You _do_ think I'd do that! Well, look here Mister! I am Draco Malfoy.

A Malfoy with one hell of a sexy body and nice silky hair to top it off!

Harry won't reject me will he?

_**Thought 123-**_

I know what you are thinking.

You're thinking: _Oh yes, Draco, Harry's going to reject you so badly you won't even be able to breathe._

Well screw you too! Because I'm going to go up to Harry Potter on the first day and I'm going to say, "_Harry darling! Let me bed you! Tonight would be good."_

And he'll reply, "_Oh Draco sweetheart! I thought you'd never ask! This Hogwarts__School_ _Uniform is very uncomfortable… especially when it's this hot…"_

And I'll put my hand on his robes and say, "_Here, let me take that off for you."_

_**Thought 124-**_

"Then we'd proceed to make hot, passionate—"

"**Draco, stop thinking out loud, we can hear you and we'd like to have some peace and quiet when your mother and I are having an intimate moment."**

My parents are trying to have an intimate moment. That means… oh my… because that can only mean _one_ thing!

SeX!

_**Thought 125-**_

Okay, just stay calm, stay calm! Nothing to burst a vein over, I mean, it's just sex.

_Just_ sEx.

Sex.

SeX!

SEX!

S E X!

S. E. X!

Sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!

_**Thought 126-**_

"**Draco, that's ENOUGH!"**

"**Oh just leave him be dear. He's just horny. I mean, don't you remember what you were like when you were his age?"**

"**Yes I do. I was busy saving your ass from the giant squid."**

"**You remembered!"**

"**Yes well, not hard to forget how you clung onto me for 'dear-life' in a very white see through blouse with –_no- _bra underneath."**

"**OH Lucius! Stop! You're making me blush!"**

"**Narcissa… you _know_****I can do more than make you blush… mmm…"**

I really don't need to hear their bedroom talk.

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**Author's Note-** If you really think this is _that_ worth while to continue...

Anyone got any good humour/comedy fics to recommand? Because it seems like I can only get into the mood after a good laugh...


End file.
